Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a word we all struggle with. It’s not easy to forgive and sometimes it’s even hard to receive forgiveness especially if you can’t even forgive yourself.

It has been said before that not one of us is perfect, we all tend to do the things we don’t want to and we all have sinful natures. But spiritually, physically and emotionally we can deal with the implications that take us in those directions and find forgiveness.

We have all been hurt by the actions or words of another. Maybe your parents didn’t agree with your career plans. Or you have had a spouse mistreat you or worse you have had a close family member get abducted. Whatever tragedy that has struck you in your life you may feel like you have hit rock bottom. Wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness, sorrow or even vengeance but somehow we need to crawl back out of the pit, grieve and being to heal.

If you find it hard and don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Reflect on how forgiveness could lead you down on a pathway to physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.
So how does forgiveness happen and how can we go on in life knowing we can be forgiven?

Forgiveness is a decision to let go of bitterness, resentment, thoughts of revenge and to stop holding a grudge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness will loosen the grip on those betrayals and disappointments and help you focus on other, more positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can change and help you to understand, empathize and have compassion for the one who hurt you. As well it can lead you to understand and help others who are also going through the same.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

There's no single manual for forgiveness, but when we can forgive, we can continue on with life and believe in better things for our future.

Jesus came to forgive and He has asked us to forgive.

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”  Matthew 6:14 (NIV)

Here are a few steps that you could take to Forgive:

1. Make a Quality Decision

Think about what angered you and accept that it happened, how it made you feel and how you reacted. Then acknowledge the reality of it and how you were affected.  Forgiveness is a serious decision. It is not easy; it’s uncomfortable and could even be painful. However it will be rewarding and worth any of the pain you have experienced.

2. Understand Your Emotions and Acknowledge Growth:
Emotions can change but they can also prepare you for action. When somebody hurts you and you feel pain, the first thing you may want to do is tell them off. You may want to get them back or you want to get away from them.…your feelings will probably need time to catch up with your decision to forgive.

When you acknowledge the growth you experienced as a result of what happened. What did it make you learn about yourself, or about your needs and boundaries? Not only did you survive the incident, perhaps you grew from it.

“Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love. He will again have compassion on us; he will tread our iniquities underfoot. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. You will show faithfulness to Jacob and steadfast love to Abraham, as you have sworn to our fathers from the days of old.” Micah 7:18-20

3. Depend On God

It is fortunate that we can depend on God to gain the strength needed to forgive. This means we live with a prayerful mindset and attitude.. Give me the grace to forgive them.  We will then be able to live in peace.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” Ephesians 4:32

PRAYER ABOUT FORGIVING OTHERS 

Lord, I bring to mind (name)
I bring him/her before You

I feel hurt by them
Right now I confess any negative feelings I have about them
I forgive the wrongs they have done towards me
For any deliberate or unintentional things they have done
That have caused me pain
In the best way that I know how, I fully forgive them

I release them to You

Now that I have forgiven (name)
I choose not to hold any grudges towards him/her
Thank you that as I am praying now
You are freeing my inner world to live again
Free from resentment, pain and bitterness
Filled with joy, freedom and love
Amen.

“I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ's sufficiency”. Philippians 4:13

4. Pray
Jesus instructs us to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”. This has got to be the hardest thing to when you would rather get even. But we don’t get out of something just because it’s hard. Whatever God asks us to do, it’s always for our benefit. Keep in mind where this person may be coming from and what are they going through and dealing with? Compassion is important.

“Do not let yourself be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”. Roman’s 12:21

5. The Choice Is Yours

Today, you have the choice to overcome evil with good and find a new level of joy you didn’t know was possible by choosing to forgive. I want to encourage you to do yourself a favor and make the right choice. Forgive. If we need to forgive ourselves, the same steps would be appropriate and understand that God loves you.

”If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  1 John 1:9

Also Read: Psalm 103

May you find forgiveness and give forgiveness.